For those who have sons

and those who are happy
that they don't.

All were clowns
and we adored all their antics - in retrospect.

And you also find out
interesting things
when you have sons, like:

  1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

  2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

  3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

  4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
    It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

  5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

  6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

  7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.

  8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

  9. A six-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.

  10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year-old boy.

  11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

  12. Super glue is forever. *

  13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. *
  14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.**

  15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do. *

  16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.**

  17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

  18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

  19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

  20. The fire department has a 5-minute response time.* *

  21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
  22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.* *

  24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
  25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Date: Fri, 05 Oct 2007 13:26:47 -0400
From: "Dr. Lance Martin" 

Dear Erika, Thanks for this unusual insight and humor about young boys. 
We had three sons and a daughter by selection Our boys have been through 
most of the shenanigans shown, They were all taught the \beauty of 
lining things and all held frogs, toads, newts in their mouths and all 
watered the outside plant with their urine plant food (at times covertly 
the inside plants),They without training but with inherent reason they 
looked  lasciviously at female breasts and other exiting attributes, Web 
loved all their antics in retrospect.  I hope your daughter Simone in 
Malta gets a copy of this. I just received a remarkably personality 
expressive/ picture of her and I am exited about her in the much 
applauded starring role of a play. I am looking forward to her and her 
family visiting us when she  returns to the States.

Love, Papa Lance
Erika Pavlides wrote:
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>     Please note: forwarded message attached